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| Too often I find people, including myself, so involved in chasing after one specific thing. This concentration and dedication are things to be admired, but it's too bad that in the midst of all this starvation, we fail to recognize outside opportunities. These chances wait to be taken advantage of. To be thoroughly used up for our own selves in the kindest form of narcissism. But could it be that we ignore these possibilities all because we are too afraid? I think so. We are all too proud to try for something that's not definite because of the vulnerability involved. But fuck it. The time people waste on being afraid, on concentrating on something so monotonous, and on overanalyzing the simple things could be spent on grabbing some motherfreaking opportunities.
Only fools are satisfied? Only fools are satisfied. Amen. | | |
| Memories are something I believe in- more than cognition can ever define, but less than 'tangibility' and 'existibility' can grasp. Memories have connection, something you can't physically grab on to, but has some sort of meaning- draws emotion, paints a feeling. It's unforgettable. Unforgettable like your name, your firsts, and your lasts. Luckily for me, i have countless memories. Unencumbered recollections floating through my mind. It causes, reacts, retains. Some being vivid, some dull. Some bad, and some good. The bad thing about memories is that it can hold you back. Well at least in my case it has. So, i guess, like, uhm, what i'm trying to say is that this year i'm going to do things like some things have never happened before, well at least the important things. Like love like i've never been hurt, "dance like nobodys watching" (<-- omg so cliche, but i actually mean it this time), make mistakes like i've never been wrong (and learn, learn, learn from them), and etc. So, peace out 2008 and YOOO WATSUP 2009... i'm graduating on you son. I promise to live it up, and cut my hair AFTER prom cuz i don't wanna look ugly, and i promise i'll get a nice date, and i promise to always put my family and friends before me, and i promise to keep my faith, and i promise not to be so coldhearted when it comes to relationships, and i promise to forgive, and then I'LL TRY (not promise) to forget, and i promise that those memories will always remain true, but never hold me back. in conclusion? well, it's all about letting go, or else your living will stop. | | |
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AHHHH XANGA<3
i have no school tomorrow and i can't sleep, so yeah.
so i guess i'm a "senior" now. i just read my whole freshman year weblog and it makes me sad. i can't believe time moved this fast. i didn't think it was possible for 3 years to feel like .1837019237 seconds.
-i remember in freshman year i was trying to be kool, but i was actually a big loser, but that's kool too. i didn't really concentrate on my school work cuz i was too distracted by my social life- friendships, relationship, struttin around, yanno- but i guess that's kool cuz freshmen are supposed to do that, it's like a rule. i also remember that was the year i looked foward to line dancing every friday, gaaaahd, whatta loser, except for the fact that the oy team was kool, still is kool. kool kool. OMG, and that was the year high school musical came out, but that was kool since me, danielle, and yvette watched it and laughed for 2 hours. OHH! and that was the year christie, justine, jean, me, kuya robbie, lance, ken, and aj did really bad on some subli dance, but that was kool cuz i look back on that, and dayyuuum that was funny. oh gaaahd, and i remember i was the biggest bayside boy groupie (along with christie,don't deny it), but that was kool, cuz eric has nice hair- REAAAAL NICE. and i remember me and marie would always do stupid things and act drunk, even though we didn't know what alcohol tasted like, but that's kool, cuz now we do. jk. okay. maybe. yo, freshman year was madthekool.
-i hated sophomore year. let's not talk about that. -_-
-junior yearrrr, well well well.i tried too hard to be happy, or @ least, pretend to be happy. i changed that year. i have to admit, i was a bitch- i didn't really trust anybody anymore, i stopped caring about God, and if i lost anybody/anything, i wouldn't try anything at all to get them back 'cause i believed that they were guna be taken away from me somehow anyways. i mean if i had to be friends with me during junior year, i would've killed myself. i was never satisfied and i always expected more from the closest hoping they'd make up for me losing dad. i remember wanting to go home everyday after school and complaining when i couldnt, which was the majority of the time. all i wanted to do was go home, get my hw done, watch tv, and ruin more of my relationships with people. it wasn't until the end of jr year i started fixing up some thaaangs and opening my eyes. i couldnt live the way i was living, it just didn't feel right. i don't regret going through this year cuz i learned ALOT, but i just wish i did't have to go through it the way i did. but i guess it was kool sometimes cuz i did really well in school.
-senior yearr = 
for the most part, i started off thinking lessons could only be learned in classrooms, but i guess not. i guess people really learn their lesson when shit happens to them, and i'm talking about serious stuff. i remember it was the breakups and the losses that really got me thinking. people aren't forever, and it took me a while to realize that the people that loved me/ the people i loved the most are only human. so human that it was possible for them to make mistakes, make me cry, or even leave me for good. but then i was human enough to push them away. lesson? i can't be so afraid
anymore. sometimes i need to give in. trust in somebody. and i guess i
should work on that this year.. i'll try.
oh and i used to think that beauty was, artificially speaking, hot boys like shia labeouf. but when i'm being all metaphorical and stuff, beauty is anybody who i love. it took me a while to realize who really cared for me or not, who was using me or just being there for me. and i guess what i'm trying to say is, anybody and anything in my life right now is beautiful. i don't know if made any sense, but whatever its kool.
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| well, 2007's almost over :'[ all i can say is that this year has been full of bumpy rides, but nevertheless i find myself growing up each day. even though i've lost a lot this year, i can never forget everything i've learned. "you never know what you have till it's gone"..truth, and even though i say i don't regret things, i think i do. i regret never spending enough time with you, pushing you away, wiping your kisses off my forehead, but most of all, i regret ever saying that i hated you. once you left i realized how much i needed you in my life, how much of an impact you had on me. i wish i had a chance to say goodbye. "started with romantic, then got too frantic"..love is a silly thing. sometimes i STILL can't get you off my mind and it's weird yanno. i may never look at you, or listen to you, or whatever to you, but you still have this hold on me. but ohwell, guys are losers. i think this year made me realize there's a huge difference between love and like. i just can't play with love, and i can't rush into it either. love takes time. "& as far as i'm concerned, i'm glad i got the chance to say that i do believe i love you"..friends. even though some of us have drifted, i know i can confide in anyone of you if i needed someone. i'm grateful i have such funny, beautiful, smart, trustworthy, reliable, and loving friends, 'cause if i didn't i'd probably be one bitter girl. they always keep me in line, and without even saying a word, i know they love me (i hope) and they know i love them. so thank you (you know who you guys are :]) goodbye 2007. watsup 2008?
"love the life you live, live the life you love" :D | | |
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Like whoa. Val is finally updating. 2005 is over.
but the new year won't stop me from forgetting the old year.
2005 recap:
1) two words: SEMi FORMAL- i admit, i started the
crying train ='[
2) found out that sagalas do it better
3) graduation =]
4) CHRiSTiAN VENTURA- omg. he's such a hot beast.
i wanna have his babys yo. lmfao. i love him like
no other <3 "you smile; and then the spell was
cast; & here we are in heaven; for you are mine at last" 
5) uhmma diddly uhmma diddly uhmma didlly diddly
6) MARiE iLAGAN became one of my best friends <3
7) got engaged to reisha & marie
8) realized how much i love my cell fone
9) realized i could do a speech about a first date in
front of my whole english class (mmhmm A+)
10) OY-TEAM
11) found REGiNE, ANGHELLA, KATiEEE, NiKKi,
ALYSSA, JURRY, KiM, & ALEXiS
12) realized that xanga was gay & myspace was not gay
13) my seestar turned 16
14) COTiLLiON BiTCH
15) the most rainiest bazaar year everrr.
16) BLUE, PURPLE, & HAZEL CONTACTS
17) the most banging'est sleepovers with sarah,
tina, & steph
18) hot basement party at christie's 
19) 14 on the 14th of february
20) the best volleyball finals everr- SNOWS BLUE NORTH
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